E.L. James - 50 Shades of Grey

Well I took the leap and read this years Mommy Porn.  The talk and innuendos from my wife and friends was too good to pass up.  After completing it I have to ask, "What's the big deal?"  Just as real life porn bores me, this book bored me as well.  I had some pre-conceived notions of what I thought I might be getting into but when I finished I was shocked at how little there really was.  One dimensional characters that really didn't come off the page, a silly plot, and way too much descriptive sex talk.

Really am I to believe the 21 year virgin decides to fall for some high powered executive?  After 500 pages I don't even think I could pick Ana out of a line up.  As far as the high powered executive...he was just a dirt ball with some over the top skeletons in his closet.  I really thought the characters would be deeper coming from a woman writer.  I thought I would care more about them but realistically they were just paper cut outs (hmmm just like in real visual porn).  To be honest I have read my fair share of good romantic books and really this book was just an over the top sexcapade.  If this is what the average "Mommy" wants than yikes the American bedroom landscape is on life support.

Ultimately it is the age old question - to love or to f&*k.  Woman want love and men want the other.  That is the problem I had with Ana, she had no experience.  What does she really want?  How would she even know what that is because all she really experienced was lust.  Had she been more than a virgin I would have thought her back and forthness would have made sense but all I really got from her was a flip flop.  And then throw the undercurrent of I can change him and make him love me for who I really am...oh come on this isn't your run of the mill male.  This is a guy "50 shades of f&*k up"  This isn't about love, this is about him seeing something he wants and taking it.    

Which brings us to the point of woman feeling they need to do off the wall things to satisfy the man but then moan about how what they really just want is love.  I find the whole book to be just a internal conflict of what woman think they want with the ideal in the back of their minds that what they really want is a man to take charge.  Don't you see you can't have it both ways?  A man needs to F*&K because he needs a conquest.  If you want a man to take charge he isn't going to cuddle and make you feel loved he wants to go forth and take.  Men have been so neutered in today's world that we can't show our real sides anymore.  We have to play the game.  The game is bulls&*t.  The odds are stacked against us.  Just as Grey tells Ana she has the real power that is the truth.  Men play the game, have to control their underlying urges just to get into the game, and then suddenly when we are playing the game we are told we aren't being man enough.  Really?  Men are simple creatures, we know what we like, we don't like the games.

Men and Women will always be different.  Two people will always have different needs and wants.  In the bedroom it is important to find that common ground but do the things each of you need and move on.  Don't play games, don't tell your partner one thing but then expect the other.  Our animal urges are such that rational thinking is never going to be part of the bedroom.  Let us take charge and do what we need.  Accept your partner for what they want.  There can be a middle ground, you just have to find it.  Tell us what you want, let us get there in our own way, or steer us in that direction but don't flip flop.  Domination is kind of taking it a bit far don't you think?

No comments: